He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
