So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
