I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
