i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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