none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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