So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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