do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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