It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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