Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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