About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
