My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
