My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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