I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
