Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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