He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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