My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You smell like stripper and shame
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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