Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
