my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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