Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
