put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
handjob tips. give me some.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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