somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
