Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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