Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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