Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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