I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
