Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
