Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
