Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
