haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
