The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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