Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
