I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
