we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
