Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
