she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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