He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
