You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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