How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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