She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
