i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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