Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
