you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
