well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
