Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
