We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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