Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
love makes seman taste better
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
