Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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