So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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