I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
