From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
