Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it's like iHOP with fire
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
